I accept!I’d like to thank the seven girls who rejected me in high school. Christy, Nadine, Jennifer, Christine, Beth, another Beth, Lisa. Actually more than seven: Marina, Sandy, Lori, Patti. I loved you all. Nadine in particular because it was impressive how fast you ran away from me when I asked you out and Christine how you said “yes” but then the next day your brother told me “no”.I’d like to thank Merrick for throwing me out of graduate school for “lack of maturity”. I know you said I could come back when I was more mature but it’s been 24 years and I don’t feel ready yet. Please keep the PhD certificate warm. I’m coming to get it!Oh, I can’t forget Bob and Francois for firing me at my first job. It was great coming to work every day because I didn’t have a car and so I had to learn the skills of hitchhiking every day both there and back. That skill set is with me to this day.And I didn’t really do any work while there so I would write all day with my door closed. I know that’s why you fired me. I deserved it. But I hated you anyway and called you Nazis behind your back. I was immature!I’d like to thank Bruce at HBO for yelling at me so much when you were my boss. I’d cry and go to the NY Public Library until I could calm down. You were a good guy who let me do what I wanted even when I started a company on the side. But you yelled a lot.Another great benefit of you yelling is I discovered the bathroom on the fourth sub-level in the library. I really hated going to the bathroom at work and once I found the bathroom across the street it would often be a sprint but I’d make it.I’d like to thank my two wives. I still love both of you. It just didn’t work and I was really sad and upset at the time but I’m ok now.Very important: I’d like to thank 112 Duane, Mighty Seven, GoAmerica. One was a house and two were companies (oh, and Vaultus!) . You were very expensive mistakes and cost me all of my money (the first time). I felt like killing myself because I still had that insurance policy but it turns out there isn’t an easy answer to the question: “What is a safe way to kill myself?”This really wouldn’t be complete without a huge thank you to the IRS (with special thanks to the New York State tax bureau, whatever the hell you are called).Particularly my very own special IRS agent in Poughkeepsie. You’re very beautiful but I suspect you don’t know it. After you froze my accounts and I gave you the biggest check I ever gave someone, I wanted to ask you out.I still can’t believe you didn’t see that movie where Will Ferrell played an IRS agent. I wanted to take you to see it and then later on marry you and we would have babies but I was too shy.I’d like to: in order, thank the Financial Crisis, the city of Beacon, Diane, Amy, from that time in my life when I once again lost everything, lost a house, and particularly the quote, “If I’m with you I’ll never be on a boat in the Mediterranean again” before you broke up with me because without that quote I would not have A) cried myself to sleep that night and B ) wrote this sentence.I’d like to thank my beautiful children. I’m a B- parent at best but I love you and I try and in my efforts to try and be good I learn a lot from you. In fact, I am absolutely sure at this point I’ve learned more from you than you from me.And finally, what can I say…you know who you are. Without you I’d be half the answerer I am now.You left me cold and dead inside and after a long time, adrift and confused, I finally battled my way out of hell to be able to be here now. You still have that little book of stories I wrote and I want it back.There’s many many more worth mentioning and I’m sorry if I forget each incident right now. But you’ve all contributed to my Top Quora 2017 status.Even if I forget you, even if I can’t remember the specifics, I know that when the right question comes along, I’ll have to answer for everything I did and the judgment that awaits.